


You

by Brevity (AmosLee1023)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Extramarital Affairs, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Non-Consensual Drug Use, One-Sided Attraction, Poor Life Choices, Real Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24332533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmosLee1023/pseuds/Brevity
Summary: The poor life decisions I’ve been doing the last few months.
Relationships: Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 1





	You

I met you through a stranger of a friend, alcohol was the truer, and it made me comfortable in your new presence.

I didn’t think I wanted anyone but you held me close to you and caressed me like you knew me more than ten minutes, but I didn’t know you at all.

Now I know you. I don’t wish I hadn’t, but I wish I had before.

Before you had this life that you do, with a ring and a family.

You coaxed me out of my clothes and you say that I made the first move but I remember through my friend of alcohol that you’re lying.

We fucked. Simple enough. We fucked on the living room couch fearing that my roommates would see us but we kept on anyway.

We fucked. It was just a fuck. Simple.

Not simple enough.

You’re still in my life two months later, we still fuck. You call me to help me fall asleep, you don’t kiss me anymore, you haven’t and I’m too afraid to ask why.

You want me to find a relationship and be happy because you’re holding me down from true happiness but you are my happiness. I don’t want anyone but you. You say you want me around because you’re selfish. Selfish with what?

You got me my second job- took the assessment yourself. You’ve given me so much money I don’t ask for and won’t accept any in return. You helped me quit vaping for three days and think that you’re proud- you just don’t know how much I’ve been smoking lately. I’m guilty.

I’m glad that I met you. I just wish that I could have you. I’m sorry that I don’t listen to you. It pisses you off how stubborn I am.

You’re so disappointed that I’m still manager where I am because it brings me trauma- the blood doesn’t leave my head. The kid with the drugs is still there. You’re so upset that I won’t quit but I need the money when I really don’t.

I’m just so fucking stubborn.

My obsession is you, all and only

You.

You ask me what’s wrong, why I’m sad. My paranoia of the night that I couldn’t walk or talk and you carried me home so that no one would hurt me- it keeps me from sleeping but it’s not why I cry. The nightmares aren’t why I cry.

It’s you. Because you don’t quite understand what you’re doing to me.

You want me to have a happy life and a happy relationship but you beg me not to fuck other people. You beg me not to stop talking to you. You beg me to keep you in my life.

Why? Why if you don’t want me?

I don’t want what you want for me.

I only really ever wanted you. All that I want is you.

You say you wish we had met before you have this life that you do now. You told me once we have to be patient, but patient for what?

I don’t know what it is that you want from me. I just know that I desperately need you. The one saving me is and has been you.

If you let me in I can help you. If you open up I can hold you. I’ve cried into you, you can cry into me.

I want you to feel safe, as safe as I do with you.

I want you.

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed to vent into writing because I haven’t had my laptop for months.
> 
> I’ll be writing again soon enough, I’m getting mental help with an actual councilor and hopefully everything will be fine again. 
> 
> Thank everyone for waiting.


End file.
